Shameless Plug for Pasco

There has been a surge of foodie destinations popping up in Downtown and Central Tucson and everyone seems to be asking, literally begging us,

"Laura and Hank, the most well educated and sensible food eaters, where have you experienced your latest food-gasm?"

And let us preface our response, reassuring you that we would never, ever, be 'suaded by comped meals... We are not blinded by compliments about our wardrobes... We are not disillusioned by the attractiveness of the staff.

We are Hank and Laura: FOOD LOVE PURISTS. We have been blessed with Devine Taste buds and Magic Cooking Hands. And with gifts like these, come great responsibility.

[We tried to insert an unflattering photo here to deflate our every growing celebrity... no dice.]

PASCO Kitchen and Lounge

Urban Local Farming, mason jars, cute pig mascot. PASCO is simply really good cocktails and food delivered people you wanna bone. Which is a nice change from the bitter recent grads most other restaurants feature in this dismal economy. You could call it a friendly, sexy bass-playing flower thriving amidst the Gastro Pub Weeds and Take-me-back-to-Butter menus set in LA Club environments.

Alright enough foreplay, let's cut straight to the penetraish-

Carlito's Horchata, Blood Orange Serrano infused Tequila, le Saison

Home cooking for kids who grew up on a Urban Farm, in the New American Style. That's everyone right? The Menu is seasonal, but for the most part reads as a mixture of American Classics, random ethnic dishes and farm fresh creations. This includes their expansive and original cocktail list born democratically of the entire bartender staff and GM. We had the pleasure to sit down and talk with Andrew Record (as seen in Zona 78), General Manager, who said some lovely things that unfortunately we were too drunk to remember (wink Jose).

Recommendations:

1ST: Father Kino

2ND: Goat Cheese w/ herbed panko & roasted local beets

3rd: Father Kino

4th: Chicken & Waffles (never seen gourmet have you?)

Exciting so far... maybe too much?

5th: Quick Master B + Father Kino

Dessert: Left Hand Milk Stout

JUST FUCKING GO ALREADY. (Invite us)

Extended Summation: This review is a pretty big deal; It's rare we admit anyone is better at this shit than us.

Look for our next Entry, "Try Harder Hub, Try Harder" ...fuckin' guerrilla journalism. We push legs, uh, envelopes. Wide open.

L-word,

Hank and Laura

Bad Anagram: "Rake Bison Flip Cof"

Bonfire•Foil•Pack (Dinner): What is, “Ways to be popular and make friends”?

Origins: It's damn cold in Tucson! Colder than many cities synonymous with awful freezing climates. So we do what we can to get by. Like build impromptu urban bon fires in our backyard (just to piss off the “Neighborhood Association” - which has no authority like the Home Owners Association) and drink can after can of Tall Boys.

This episode we're gonna talk you into never using your stove or microwave again. I mean, after you've revisited life as a caveman (or woman, GEEZ...) AND prepare yourself this simple yet gratifying meal you'll wonder why you ever did it any other way. Plus people will think and call you a BadASS!

Laura and I over the summer were like 5-day-a-week vegetarians but it's Winter so now we want meat. But this meal can be veg, vegan, or bloody carnivorous.

Dudes:

1. CHOPPED VEGGIES; DICED MEATS; OLIVE OIL/CHILI OIL/SESAME OIL; CUMIN/CAYANNE/SUMAC/WHATEVER

2. MIX

3. DOUBLE WRAP IN FOIL

Fire Prep:

Build your fire. Have a beer. Let it burn. Have more beer. Burn it down to just the coals.

Last... Plop that wrap on top of the coals. Want to make sure both sides get equa-cooked (egually cooked). 20 minutes should be sufficient. But please understand that each fire will vary in hotness. And so you should obviously check it before you eat uncooked meats.

HOT SEX TIP: The bigger the fire, the hotter the flame.

L-word,

Hank and Laura

Dia de los VS. Urban Outfitters

David Bowie and Hyperlinks

"We went to Wilcox... AGAIN." Photo Essay

First stab at a Fall Publicity Shot.

JorDan. Yeah, with a big D.

Plant Lifes.

Surly bunch.

Pumpkin blossom.

Varieties.

Recipe!

Pumpkin Curry + Spring RO'

Gut and slice up fresh sugar pumpkin.

With a little olive oil on 350 until "skin" easily peels away from "flesh". Sorry about the animal analogy - we just started the first season of Dexter.

Finished puh'kin.

Whip up your favorite curry recipe...

Melanie was Chef of the Day (COTD) on this one, but we suggest you look up

- SHOUTOUT-

our dear fellow food fetishizer (someone who fetishizes food) and rival blogger Prison Chef.

Add in your Cooked Pumpkin at very end of curry completion.

Shameless brag - we bought the last bottle of this "Cracked Pepper-wine" at a Crop Circle Winery in Wilcox for a special occasion. And then one night found that special occasion to get drunk. (When there wasn't one person not in sweat pants who could get PBR to accompany our night of HULU).

(original audio omitted for ease of the listener, just a bunch of shrill double d's rubbin against eachother: melanie talking)

Spring RO' Bowie.

What? Here's a video of how to roll up a Spring Roll to "garnish" your pumpkin curry. And we're Tucson Kids so that means we're explaining it in terms of burrito.

Grossly over-simplified directions:

1. SOAK RICE PAPER.

2. LOAD WITH VEGGIES AND GLASS NOODLES.

3. BURRITO THAT SHIT UP (SEE VIDEO_

Serve with peanut sauce (mixing peanut butter, Siracha, Hoisin)...

HOT SEX TIP: If you haven't caught on by now, cooking makes you sexy.

L-word,

Hank and Laura

Tucson EAT Yourself PhotoJournal

Tuscon Meet Yourself is an annual collision of world cultures represented by a glorious food festival. Join us on a photographic journey through opening day!

L-word,

Hank and Laura

Monsoon Season in your Panties.

So back in August we took a trip to Flagstaff, AZ along with our friends Allen, Christin, and Jessica for this state conference where we taught some workshops about recruiting volunteers and making PSAs and stuff. As a result, we got to stay in a PIMP hotel, with night club for a lobby, and then hang out in downtown and swing by Hank's parent's cabin.

in Parks, AZ.

It was such a beautiful, temperate climate - a departure from Tucson (mid cocktease-Monsoon season)! But it did rain quite a bit. And JorDan (and his fresh water Alaskan Salmon) flaked out on us last minute. So we decided instead of cooking BBQ for Hank's parents, we would do an early cold-weather Stout Chili and Blue Cornbread (naturally gluten free). Which works out because our background is in good chili makin'.

Your Ingredients:

1 lb of ground turkey

red onion

garlic

cumin, chili powder, horseraddish

3 cups of water

tomato paste

worcestershire

black beans, kidney beans, navy Beans

tomatoes

corn

1-2 Stout Beers

...

Blue Cornmeal

Baking Powder

Egg

Flour

Water

Honey or Maple Agave

Bake 425 Degrees @ 15-20mins

The flavor comes in a successful base: a Saute with chopped red onion, garlic, seasons, and STOUT beer. Only use a little in the saute and then ad the rest at the very end.

A little for the chili, and a little for me?

Indoor Campfire (stove) Desert...

Nutella S'mores Pie

1 cup of crushed graham cracker + melted butter (for the crust)

large marshmallows

8in X 8in Glassware

4 table spoons of Nutella

You can use the microwave or oven to melt the marsh mellow down.

Oh, and some honorable mentions in Downtown Flag:

Espresso Martini at Rendezvous (of Hotel Monti Vista) and

Some cupcake stand outside of a discount furniture store. We got the classic Red Velvet and Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter.

L-word,

Hank and Laura and Jessica and Christin and Allen (who either died or moved to Brooklyn)

Early Homage to Black History Month

Black•His•tor•y•Month: Don't you just love the holidays? Well why wait 'til February to celebrate Black History Month? Black History Month is typically spent celebrating Black culture and prominent figures in history-

We've decided to take a more mono-chromatic approach:

Origins: Foodies world-wide are crazy about all things black, and we wanted an excuse to incorporate them into some of our culinary practice. Here are some of the new black ingredients.

Black Garlic: Is regular garlic that gains its color from fermentation. The fermentation process makes the garlic both sweet and soft. (We had to drive all hell-the-way out to AJ's on the Northwest side! to get it, but boy was it worth it.)

Black Rice: NEW SUPERFOOD. LOVE IT! Naturally black. Naturally high in fiber. NICE.

Black+Vodka: Trade name Blavod. Real original guys, maybe next time spend some money on a marketing director.

Black Sesame Seeds: You know those lil buddies that come ontop of your hamburger buns, they come in black!

Here's what we decided to do with them! (To impress a meal for 4).

Wasabi and black Sesame Seed seared Ahi Tuna and green beans served with

black garlic and mushroom soup, over black rice.

(Will warm your heart, soul and genitals).

Main Course:

Step 1: Wait until Ahi Tuna goes on sale.

Step 2: Marinade about 1 lb of Tuna in a Soy Sauce-Wasabi Powder-Sesame Oil concoction. Play around with portions, depending on how spicy/salty you desire, for only 20 mins.

Step 3: Get your pan/wok super hot, splash some sesame oil and slap that puppy down.

Step 4: Sprinkle top side with black sesame seeds, count to 15 Mississippi, then flip. More sesame seeds and another 15 Mississippi.

Step 5: Congrats! You are a great success.

Saute green beans in sesame oil and add sesame seeds. DONE.

Soup WAY easier than Ramen.

Step 0: Boil rice. DONE.

Step 1: Add some black garlic ROUGH chopped into pan with Mushroom Broth. Simmer 5 mins.

Step 2: Add thinly sliced mushrooms and green onions.

Step 3: Put a scoop of black rice into a serving bowl and pour soup over.

And finally,

A black Vodka, Oolong, and lemon grass simple syrup Martini.

Step 1: Make double strength Oolong Tea. Cool down.

Step 2: Simmer 1/2 cup of water, 1/2 cup of sugar and lemon grass sticks. Let Cool.

Step 3: Mix it up. It will naturally layer itself.

Guest Star Jessica Noele. Thanks for your photo-poppin'.

HOT SEX TIP: Well, without sounding self congratulatory, this meal was a great success. So I guess they're right when they say, "Once you go Black... you never eat white rice again." And if you can't get layed making this meal for a date, then you can't be helped.

L-word,

Hank and Laura and Jessica

Camping Breakfast: Lake Powell

(Melbourne eats yogurt, sliced banana and granola).

EZ, healthy.

Foodie Field Trip: Seattle

Welcome to Food Heaven...

Seattle, WA

Initially we went to the NW for a vacation from the Tucson Summer Heat. It's so hot it deserves its capital status. But recently we've been making it a priority to further our Foo•du•ca•tion and so we took advantage of the culinary expertise and business sense of a booming, forward thinking restaurant industry.

Seattle is home to the famous Pike's Place market. Where, yes, you can get some fresh seafood, but also everything else you could ever want. And all from local farmers and producers. Like honey comb, flower arrangements, jams, jewelry, or vegan leather jackets.

Not too far from the Market, the Waterfront offers many tourist destinations but this enjoyable Crumpet Shop gave us one of our favorite breakfasts. Some of our choice crumpets (pictured) include the Green Eggs and Ham (Pesto cooked in egg); Salmon Cream Cheese and Cucumber; Ricotta, Pesto, Tomato and Ham and finally the Cream Cheese, Maple Spread and Crushed Walnuts.

We had time well spent in the city seeing highlights of Beltown - with its unique hospitality and dishes (i.e. Wann's - only American location - Octopus appetizer, Night Kitchen's Fried Cheese Curds and Homemade Key Lime Pie).

Revisiting some old standbys and new surprises of Capitol Hill- In the Bowl Vegetarian Noodle Bistro (sup Pumpkin Tofu Curry?)*, local draft brews and spicy gourmet mac and cheese of Smith, drunken nights with Dick's Drive In, and too many beautiful coffee shops and pastries to mention them all (*cough* Special Mention goes out to Oddfellows Cafe for its ambiance and Tartine)...

Our all-time Food Romance of the trip ends with our new friend Jo Jo, who we met at his opening of Arabica Lounge. He gave us a new tradition you can't help but love: Dükkah. The dipping of bread in oil, and then dipped again into a mix of seasoned grains and nuts. Egyptian in origin. Adapted by Jo Jo, our beloved Venezuelan. And we like it so much because is a delicious way to add SUPERFOOD to possibly the world's most popular meal.

Oh, and the All Almond Cake (uh...Gluten Free) paired with an apple sparkling cider (almost champagne like).

We had a lot of fun with the people, places and foods of this city. Can't say that we didn't take a couple other things home with us... But again, this is a food blog, not a full disclosure one.

L-word,

Hank and Laura and Nolan

God Bless Foodie America!